You wear the shoes like a dove
Now strut those shoes
We shall go rolling in the night
How are things on the west coast?
We keep it moving to your souls delight
I tried the brakes but you know it’s a lonely ride
How are things on the west coast?
Oh I knew of heaven behind those eyes.

Around about this time of year I tend to get a little misty eyed, no I don’t suffer from allergies, the mist is due to a sense of what I have and have not accomplished and how I view the world changes from year to year. The maturation of Inie is something that usually comes about in the oddest form. The underlying theme of last year was that I had to go out and make things happen for myself. For some reason after some stuttering and embarrassing starts, I finally got things going. I rarely leave evenings regretting things I didn’t do. Although I may have stepped over the mark in recent times, I finally feel comfortable in my acutely trained sensitive self conscious body. My nomadic life has been lacking stability, so I propped myself up with a collection of varied memories. This in turn has made me a lot stronger can I ever construct in my self belief.

Now i don’t want to take your heart and I don’t want a piece of history.

I never knew that I could end up being in the place that I am in now. Something that I thought would take me another two years of academia has been achieved even more quickly in this past month. Learning to deal with arrogant, insensitive and odd people. Learning to be linear and not try any type of horizontal thinking. Acknowledging that some things I just am not good at, no matter how hard I try. Realising that sometimes being at the bottom will make being at the top a lot sweeter. The idea that the job was just something to work away my debt has been seeped away. Instead I have assimilated just so much more than I could have ever wished to do

Today my heart swings
But I don’t want to play the part
And I don’t want a taste of victory
And I don’t want to read your thoughts anymore my god.
Ive got a chance for a sweet safe life
Ive got a dance that goes into the night.

I have never fully opened myself up to people; I have only ever wanted to open it up to one person. I have shed the guilt about the fact though, which in turn may have led me to become a loveable rogue. I don’t care as much why things never clicked, instead that I never made the right pitch. How can you expect someone to truly feel the same way you do if you never showed them what you wanted to put across to the world. There is nothing wrong with playing it safe as long as it isn’t the default expression for you fucking up.
The words in Italics are lyrics by Interpol Heinreich manoeuvre.