Tonight saw middle class kids around england cry as dirty pretty things played their last ever gig. Tomorrow morning the offspring of guardian reading hipster parents will cry into their bowls of wholegrain oatmeal as their retro demi god Carl cuts short the life of another fruitless retro rolling stones aping group.

You could hear a pin drop as the crowd didnt have a clue what was going on. If this was the last gig this wasn't one to remember. This was the equivalent of watching the old dog get shot outside the shed - except in slow motion. Only a select few knew the words and even they seemed bored by the middle of the hour long set.

If i was in a band and i knew it was my last ever show maybe i would try and give a shit. Instead the band coasted their way through the performance. It was so bad that i began to wish that i was watching some shit opening band or strictly come dancing. Anyone, i would have even watched snow patrol because at least they give a shit about their fans. Even though their fans are banking, coke snorting, nouveau riche, desperately hanging on to their youth, fans.

The thing is Carl Barat is Robbie Williams. The whole libertines story is the typical boyband story. Band makes it big (libertines), band breaks up (Pete doing more drugs and getting involved with cocaine Kate). Millions of girls cry just like when Take That split up. Offshoot band, thats DPT, does well at first but is ultimately shit (Gary Barlow). The other band leader comes out of reasonable acclaim to then reach world superstardom (Pete, although we are in the interim and im not sure he could make it to Take That level).

So the band wimpered out to a finale. What a sorry example. I am not of their fans but im pretty sure that i would have had more fun at a fucking UB40 gig.

With all that being said the odd looking hunchback of notre dame couple made up for it as they sang their way through the concert. dodging the spit coming from the braces of the pubescent fans at the front. Believe me it was a nightmare talking to girls at the show, im no Michael Jackson.

P.S. The dj's that dropped Dj Mujava's Township Funk - kudos to you. Fuck the ignorant crowd that treated this winter's biggest jam with the same fear that a virgin does with a flacid cock.